Jen's Testimony
As a small child I knew God loved me, I saw His love reflected through my
dear neighbors and I saw how He was shaping and protetion my parents lives.
Back then I was very confident and excited to share the good news with anyone who would
listen.
However, it was not until I was ten years old that I realized that all my
wrong doings, "my sins" had separated me from the complete love of God.
I came to understand this truth during a crusade I was attending with my
neighbors. Uncle Bill was the speaker for the children's program and through
his stories he explained again, and again Romans 3:23 and Romans 6:23. I
understood that all mankind had fallen short of the glory of God and that
the wages of sin was death, but I also understood that Christ's blood would
hide all my sin and wash my heart as white as snow. During this time I
struggled with breaking down and admitting that I was a sinner, but when
the call was made I came forward and answered the knocking at the door of
my heart and let Christ have a place in my life. That night I admitted that
I was a sinner and that I wanted the hope that eternal life brought. That
night was the first night I could rest in the assurance of salvation, I knew
that Christ was there.
This isn't where my testimony ends. I wish I could say it did, but we all
have our spiritual journeys and along the path there are a lot of roadblocks.
During the next five or six years my relationship with God was not at the
top of my priority list. Instead I was a proud person who was very critical
of others and totally missed the errors in my own ways. I had this great
need to control things, which caused me to become even more violent then I
had been in years pass. As I reached 15, 16 years old, I realized I was at
a low in my life. I didn't know what my future held and that terrified me.
All I really wanted was to be able to control my future, my temper and the
actions that came with my fits of anger. I can truly say I was miserable.
I wasn't making myself or anyone else happy and I was very unsure of myself.
Soon after I turned sixteen, the same crusade in which I truly grasped salvation
came back to this area. I didn't really want to go. I was very afraid of being
convicted and wouldn't you know I was. During the first three days I fought against
the longoing to be reconciled to God till I finally felt that I was in too much turmoil
to bear
it alone. As I went back to the prayer room for the second time in my life,
I knelt down and humbled myself before the Lord and this time I did not just
give Him a place in my life, I gave Him my life. I surrendered and gave the
control of my life, both present and future to the Lord. When I did this
the Holy Spirit began to guide me through my every day life, convicting me
of the small things and helping me through the struggles that at times
consumed my life. I still become real controlling and drive my parents
nuts and in the the last few years I've lost my temper more than a few
times. But God is good. He is always there to help me cool down or to
help me let go and convict me when I'm giong down the worng path. He is
my strength and my only real source of peace and true happiness and joy.